Eleven Funny Horse Names

Pop Culture

Horse racing can be serious business, but the colorful people involved in the sport definitely make certain there is a constant element of humor involved. Check out some of these names that owners came up with for their horses:

1. Hoof Hearted – OK, this one may not seem that funny when you read it, but if you say it out loud you’ll be able to scent out (ahem) why this name makes the list.

2. Sotally Tober – Suuuuuure, we totally believe you. Now step up to the breathalyzer, horsie. 

3. Onoitsmymothernlaw – Be on your best behavior around this horse.

4. Notacatbutallama – This racehorse was named for owner Mike Repole’s wife; rumor has it that they were playing a game of Cranium. When the clue of “dog” came up, Mike Repole said to his wife, “Not a cat but a…” to which she blurted out, “Llama!” And a racehorse’s name was born. 

5. Pianist – Pianist wasn’t meant to be a funny name; however, as track announcer Larry Collmus pointed out, it can be a tricky name to say when you’re calling a race: 

6. Flat Fleet Feet – We’re pretty sure this horse was named with the express intent to mess with track announcers.

7. Nosoupforyou – Who doesn’t love a good Seinfeld reference? 

8. Mucho Macho Man – Everybody wants to be him! This song is named after the extremely catchy disco hit, and recording artists The Village People have really taken a shine to him: 

9. Bodacious Tatas – Yeah, it’s a little insane (and slightly yucky) that someone named a horse this. Way to rack up the creepiness factor!

10. Bucket Head – Poor horse… unless he was named after Brian Patrick “Buckethead” Carroll of Guns N’ Roses, in which case: Rock on, Bucket Head!

11. Rock Hard Ten – This is another one that may not be funny at first glance, but if you channel your inner Ron Jeremy you’ll get there.

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