On the evening of Oct. 6, after viewing and acknowledging pictures of Real Grace in a paddock on a farm in Lexington, his racing trainer and my good friend, Shelley Brown, put down her phone for what ended up being the last time. Pictures and video sent the following day, heralding Grayson’s arrival at Kentucky Horse Park and his first adventures of that pivotal week, will forever remain unread. 

On the evening of Oct. 8, with the preliminary competition looming, Shelley handed her reins over to those she would be leaving behind, and allowed cancer to win, albeit by all of about a whisker. She still won the fight, don’t ever think otherwise. 

I am relieved and grateful to know that she no longer suffers. Nonetheless, the void created by her loss was a heavy weight to carry through the event. I was very accustomed to sending lots of Grayson spam and updates – even more so in the last couple of months – always in hopes that it would bring her a smile, and an extra spot of brightness to her days as she fought her final battle.

So often even now, I pick up my phone to send her something before remembering that I cannot.

Added weight in that it was a journey I never would have made, if it wasn’t for Real Grace. For his epic Canadian Derby win that inspired her to fight a brutal cancer diagnosis and keep herself multiple lengths in the lead for a lot longer than the doctors ever thought she’d have. For the friendship that developed, that I came to value tremendously. If he hadn’t won the Derby, if Shelley hadn’t fought, if we hadn’t become friends, I would not have been offered Real Grace, and certainly would not have been Thoroughbred Makeover bound with a blog column documenting the journey.

As I’ve struggled for days with what to write, how to pull out the humor and positives of the trip when weighed down with loss, I realized that perhaps the perfect way to do so would be to write out those last messages that went unread, and the messages that I wanted to send but never could.

Oct. 7

Lindsay Turcotte

His stall setup is not complete, but I had to half set it up and take a picture of him wearing his Derby wreath … his mockup of his original Derby wreath … to honor his heritage and his history and his career and you. 

...  That was just Grayson and I facetiming to say “Hi” so you could come on our little walk with us as we check out the park.  If you’re ever awake when I facetime, feel free to answer and don’t’ feel like you’re gonna have to talk.  We are happy to just share the journey with you.

Oct. 8

So, I took Grayson for another walk to the show rings this morning, and he was more settled than yesterday. By the time we went up to school, he was pretty darned chill! We had a solid warmup, a great left canter, and we even got his right lead! Twice, because the first time he tried his “I’m not steering until we’re going left”trick……  The second time the monkey on his back rode a bit smarter and that fixed that!  

Lindsay Turcotte

We also did our ticketed school in the ring. He was a gem. I mean, he stood at the in gate looking at these two rings with about six other horses milling around in them, it’s a huge space on top of a hill, and he stood there while I rooted around like a dummy in my pocket for my ticket … with gloves because why make it easy on myself? He probably figured a candy would materialize – sorry bud, not this time.     

But I Tell ya what, Shell … he went into those rings and other than a bit of a look in one corner where you can see waaayyy down the hill to activity below, he was just relaxed and focused and a star.

Oh. Oh. Oh. But don’t ask his opinion of the washracks we used for his bath. The dirty eyeball he kept on me told me that while he would participate, he was solidly against this idea of being crosstied in a stall to be bathed.

Hell-O, he’s much more dignified than that!

Oct. 9

Lindsay Turcotte

I’m glad our ride times aren’t until tomorrow, and we got to just go ride in the schooling ring. Or maybe I wish they were today, he was so good. He’s a bit hairy and it’s awfully warm so we kept it reasonably short, but he was perfect. Just. Perfect. Also, I guess there was a reason I packed this particular saddle pad for schooling. “Run your own race” seems so fitting, in so many ways, right now.

I finished off that display, too. Got the frame last night for the win picture. I still can’t believe Bette showed up that night with his trophies. I’m stunned and honored that she’d entrust them to me. They really make it next level. I don’t know if this does everyone justice, but I hope it tells the tale of a horse who was done right by, every step of the way.

Oct. 10

Lindsay Turcotte

Oooh, boy, Shell. I wish you were here. You’d have laughed with me all the way back to the barn.  Would you believe that this turkey picked today, of all days – and the show ring, not the warmup, to question if this was a game we should play? 

He warmed up great. Seriously. The canter transitions were a bit rocky, and we missed the right lead a couple of times. But we got it sorted before we went up. Or so I thought.

Honestly, I’m not sure what changed but he was relaxed while we waited, at first. He got a bit antsy, and was more worried about going around the ring (there were people in the judges box, the horrors!), but was still accepting me as his rightful leader until the announcer spoke right as we rode by.

That was that. He concluded my leadership skills were definitely in need of serious questioning, and while he was still outwardly playing along he was inwardly considering if he had to save us from this grievous situation in such a big, lonely, terrifying ring.  

I’ll give him this – his questioning took a while, and while he was questioning, he was still mostly following my guidance. Then, we got to the canter. I hadn’t really considered the implications of canter transitions at the top of the ring, heading towards the gate. At least, not until I asked him for the left lead and he ran off on both leads at once, with zero steering. By the time I got him back under control I was wondering if it would be better if dressage allowed ring bits. ... Well, not really, I was mostly trying to figure out if I had to immediately do our stretch trot or if we were supposed to go back and circle. Lordy, the confusion!

So naturally, then I mess up and forget to go all the way to E while we walk.

And Grayson, of course, is still pretty sure he needs to save us. I questioned whether I should abort the right canter or not but honestly, Shell, I’m here, right? We’re HERE, what’s the worst that can happen?

WE GOT THE RIGHT LEAD!

Kate Hall for Erin Gilmore Photography

And ran off. With no steering. Until he propped and ducked left. Which might be the only reason we managed to stay in the ring on that one. But his feet were staying in the ring if it was the last thing I ever did. LOL.  

The odd thing is, I can hear you laughing and shaking your head. Well, he’s green. Even after the trips we did make, this is still so much more than he’s used to!   

Don’t worry, I’m exasperated, but I’ll laugh at this test for years to come. It’s memorable, at least!

And the demo ride, well, if ever there was true redemption, that was it. Of course, we’re walking around outside the ring by A and he’s trying to stop, refuse to go, and redirect himself to the gate. ... No, sir, we have another test to do, and YOU, sir, are going to attempt to do it. 

The fact that we don’t have to follow a set pattern helped a lot – I went up centerline, and then when we tracked left at A I put him right to work on a 4 loop serpentine. He could have been bendier, for sure, but he was definitely like “Oh wait, what way are we going?” and was a bit too busy trying to guess what I might want next to worry about whose leadership skills were safer.  

I was also smart about the canter. On a circle, heading AWAY from the gate. He cantered the way I know he can. Granted, the transition could have been crisper but I’ll take a lagging transition. And by the end of that ride, he was soft, relaxed, reaching for the bit – everything he could be.

Honestly, I’m so incredibly proud of him for re-focusing and getting his brain back in the game. And maybe a bit of myself for not chickening out, after the first test.

And I’ll give him credit, when he decides he needs to take over he doesn’t sell me out – he’s getting BOTH of us out of the situation, not just himself. So, I mean, Yay, Grace?

Can’t say it was the result I hoped for, but I’m still so very proud of him, and we got 7s on a bunch of the trot work! And for his gaits in the demonstration ride.  

Oct. 11

Kate Hall for Erin Gilmore Photography

So we participated in the fix-a-test clinic. I contemplated skipping it but decided that maybe another trip up to the ring would be a good thing.

I’m glad I did.

First, I actually rode him up there – usually I just rode him home. Of course we get to the hill we have to climb to get to the rings and he was like “Nope, been there done that, YOU make bad choices, girl.”  

Might have had to have someone lead us up the hill. Eyeroll. 

So he’s looking for an out, and all I can think about is those damned canters towards the gate in the test. ... And I asked the steward if the judge would be willing to just school us.

Best. Decision. Ever.

The judge gave me some great little tips and tweaks, and then had me soften him and ask for canter. I have absolutely no idea where the canter I got came from, but holy moly I hope we get it again. Honest to goodness true uphill collected soft connected canter.  

And the right lead was better than the left!

I felt two hundred feet tall and bulletproof, sitting on that canter. It was magical.

We got the best comments – about how he’s strong, athletic, and go ahead and ride him up above his level of training, because he’s absolutely got the strength for it and it will just make the level we’re at that much easier. 

I’m proud to bursting of him. I wish I had video. I wish you could have seen it.

As for Grace, I think he’s just relieved to see me pack up the tack.  LOL.

Oct. 23

Well, Grayson’s finally home. I miss our conversations. I miss sharing him with you. I wish I could send you the video of him celebrating being back in his pasture with his friends. He’s ecstatic. 

He got off the trailer and literally trotted off, too. Scared the two racehorses that had been unloaded so we could get him out. 

Shelley taking Grayson for a ride. (Lindsay Turcotte)

I’ve mostly been parsing through all the information I picked up and trying to make a list of all my new contacts in the aftercare world. I’ve listed a bunch of horses this week, with the meet ending soon, and once that’s done I need to start looking at the next steps in aftercare here. After the Wire is great for listing horses that fit a market-based approach – and I’m hoping to spark some interest in people in buying horses to take to the Thoroughbred Makeover with it – but I think more can be done to help our horsemen protect their horses who need a bit more time or care in placement. I wish you were around for me to whine to when I get frustrated with that situation, because I’m sure I will, and I’m sure you would have insight and ideas. And I know that no matter what, you would have my back.

I wish you could have stayed with us for so many more years – to someday ride all the fun things Grayson will learn how to do in time. I’m so glad you got on him that day in July. I wish we could have done that a hundred more times.

I’ve said it a couple of times to you these last few weeks, but I think it bears saying again: THANK YOU.  The greatest gift anyone has even given me was the opportunity to buy this horse.  Not because of his accolades and accomplishments on the track, but because he fits me perfectly and every single time I swing a leg over him – even when he’s running off on two leads at once with no steering at the most inopportune of times (actually let’s hope that’s a one-time deal) – I am home.  

He will want for nothing, to the end of his days, I promise you that. 

And most of all, Thank you for being my friend.  

See you someday.

Love,

Lindsay and Grayson

SDH Photography for Erin Gilmore Photography

Thank you to the Horsemen’s Benevolent & Protective Association of Alberta, Horse Racing Alberta, Century Mile Racetrack, Canadian Thoroughbred Horse Society Alberta Chapter, and many breeders, owners, backstretch personnel, and others who have helped us along this journey with assistance – both in education and financially. Thank you for helping me take Real Grace back to Kentucky to show that even accomplished racehorses have oodles potential in a second career. This assistance put the Alberta Racing Industry’s stewardship towards aftercare and Thoroughbreds beyond racing on the North American stage. I’m proud to assist our horsemen in ensuring that their retiring racehorses maintain value and go on to lead full, successful lives in new careers.

Thank you to Americas Best Racing for a blog spot that allowed me to share Real Grace and the importance of aftercare on a larger platform.

Thank you to Natalie Voss and the Chronicle of the Horse for an article that highlights Real Grace’s importance to so many, but most especially Shelley. Thank you for running it early; to be sure she was able to read it. 

And thank you to the entire staff at the Retired Racehorse Project for your dedication to this annual event, full of the best horses God ever built. 

The Jockey Club supports many aftercare initiatives including the Thoroughbred Aftercare Alliance, the only accrediting body in aftercare, and Thoroughbred Incentive Program (T.I.P.), which encourages the retraining of Thoroughbreds into other disciplines upon completion of careers. View all of the initiatives supported by The Jockey Club.